I don't make New Year's Resolutions! However, at the beginning of every year, I like many people, spend some time reflecting on my life. I often think about memorable events of the past year, things I accomplished, unmet goals, and disappointments. This year, while engaging in my reflection, I found myself, in what I can only describe as a "funk". I was in a somber mood that I could not shake. I felt down, but could not readily identify why.
I had made a list of so many reasons I had to be thankful, but yet, I did not feel very thankful. Good health. In general, I have it, minus an autoimmune disorder which requires me to take medication and leaves me feeling extremely tired. Loving family. I definitely have that, despite the substance abuse issues many of my immediate family members continue to battle.Stable finances. I must say, I have been blessed to maintain my job and pay my bills when so many Americans have lost jobs, homes, and life savings due to the state of our economy. Great friends. The few I have are dependable, trustworthy, and genuine. So, what did I have to complain about? Why did I feel so down in the dumps?
Although I had made a long list of positives, my focus was on the negative. Rather than focusing my energy on what I have, I was focused on what I do not have. Rather than thinking about all the good in my life, I was dredging up all the hurt, pain, and suffering I had experienced. There I was, in the opening Act of 2013, engaging in a one woman show of self-pity. Abuse. Rejection. Abandonment. Low Self-Esteem. Feelings of Unworthiness. These were just some of the guests that showed up to my party. It's not hard to find yourself there. All you need is a few minutes alone to think about everything that has gone wrong or might possibly go wrong in your life, and you are well on your way.
Thankfully, I was reminded of a teaching by world renown, female evangelist, Joyce Meyer. In this teaching, she shared how she had been sexually abused for many years by her father. The abuse had not happened once or twice, but almost every day for many years. She went on to discuss how as an adult, she often felt sorry for herself and made excuses for her behavior, citing the abuse as the cause. At some point, however, God revealed to her - "you cannot be pitiful and powerful at the same time." This was a revelation which caused her to shift her focus and begin to make changes in her life.
I am encouraged by her revelation - "You cannot be pitiful and powerful at the same time." What you will be is most certainly your choice. I choose to be powerful. Does that mean I won't feel sad? Does that mean I won't experience disappointment? No. It means I make a choice not to wallow in my sorrow and not to allow disappointments to prevent me from experiencing my destiny. I cannot be pitiful and affect change in the world. I cannot be pitiful and inspire young people to run after their dreams. I cannot be pitiful and share my story with the intent to encourage others. Today, and every day, I choose to be powerful! What choice will you make?
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