Take Responsibility for Your Actions

When you were a child or even as a parent, how often did you hear the phrase, "It's up to you to take responsibility for your actions"? More often than not, the parent or teacher was right about what they were saying - "You will fall over and hurt yourself," "You will get caught" or, "It's not worth the risk" etc.

Like many of you I have made countless errors in my business and personal life many of which - no if I'm honest - all of which - I could have avoided, but at the time I knew best. In hindsight it's my entire fault, I am responsible. I could try to pass on the blame to someone or something else and for a while I did, or I could put my hands up, take it on the chin and find a way forward.

Like many people in the mid part of last decade, 2005 approximately, I felt bullet proof and nothing could get in my way. I released equity from my property, took on a team of property people around me and went full speed ahead building a property empire that would provide financial freedom for me and the family. Well that was the plan.

The team I built around me were learning, they didn't have all the answers, they didn't know all of the questions that they should have been asking and they didn't
have all the advice to give. I, however, abdicated responsibility to those around me; they were the experts, the font of all knowledge. I gave cash, energy and trust to those who were sadly found wanting when everything hit the fan and the market completely changed.

Because I had not taken responsibility or ownership of what was going on I was left terribly exposed and it cost me. Sadly it is still costing me to this day. In hindsight yes, I could have and should have taken more legal advice, done more site visits and more detailed investigations of both those I was working with and those they were in turn working with. Blind Faith is no excuse, I didn't take responsibility.

Now as a result I am very alert to what my intuition and gut feel tells me - am I getting the full story here? Is this person the right person to work with or deal with? What is the potential negative in every situation, in addition to the positive? Experience is the result of something that happens to you, by contrast wisdom is the ability to learn from others' experiences and not have to go through them yourself, so they say. It is said that the older generation tend to be more conservative and less spontaneous. Could this be because they have made the errors themselves and are now more cautious, maybe this is just part of my journey towards maturity.

Consider the odd occasion when you find yourself at the race track - you investigate the form of the horses before placing a bet - if you are just choosing according to the name of the horse or the colours the jockey is wearing you are risking it all. You may be comfortable to leave without your initial stake money; if not, then you shouldn't be spending the money, this is a calculated risk where you have removed all responsibility for the result from your control.

Whether it is a good or bad outcome, a challenge or a success the chances are it has come about as a result of an action or inaction by you. When there is nothing you can do to influence the outcome of a situation that is called gambling, so please don't try to call it something else when it's not! Take responsibility for your successes and failures alike, and in those areas where you are currently impersonating an ostrich, get your head out of the sand and take responsibility for making the best of that situation. It's up to you, stop FAFFing about and step up.

Mike Pagan is a highly sought after professional motivational speaker, conference speaker, and business coach.

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Teen Motivation 101: The Choice Is Yours

I don't make New Year's Resolutions! However, at the beginning of every year, I like many people, spend some time reflecting on my life. I often think about memorable events of the past year, things I accomplished, unmet goals, and disappointments. This year, while engaging in my reflection, I found myself, in what I can only describe as a "funk". I was in a somber mood that I could not shake. I felt down, but could not readily identify why.

I had made a list of so many reasons I had to be thankful, but yet, I did not feel very thankful. Good health. In general, I have it, minus an autoimmune disorder which requires me to take medication and leaves me feeling extremely tired. Loving family. I definitely have that, despite the substance abuse issues many of my immediate family members continue to battle.Stable finances. I must say, I have been blessed to maintain my job and pay my bills when so many Americans have lost jobs, homes, and life savings due to the state of our economy. Great friends. The few I have are dependable, trustworthy, and genuine. So, what did I have to complain about? Why did I feel so down in the dumps?

Although I had made a long list of positives, my focus was on the negative. Rather than focusing my energy on what I have, I was focused on what I do not have. Rather than thinking about all the good in my life, I was dredging up all the hurt, pain, and suffering I had experienced. There I was, in the opening Act of 2013, engaging in a one woman show of self-pity. Abuse. Rejection. Abandonment. Low Self-Esteem. Feelings of Unworthiness. These were just some of the guests that showed up to my party. It's not hard to find yourself there. All you need is a few minutes alone to think about everything that has gone wrong or might possibly go wrong in your life, and you are well on your way.

Thankfully, I was reminded of a teaching by world renown, female evangelist, Joyce Meyer. In this teaching, she shared how she had been sexually abused for many years by her father. The abuse had not happened once or twice, but almost every day for many years. She went on to discuss how as an adult, she often felt sorry for herself and made excuses for her behavior, citing the abuse as the cause. At some point, however, God revealed to her - "you cannot be pitiful and powerful at the same time." This was a revelation which caused her to shift her focus and begin to make changes in her life.

I am encouraged by her revelation - "You cannot be pitiful and powerful at the same time." What you will be is most certainly your choice. I choose to be powerful. Does that mean I won't feel sad? Does that mean I won't experience disappointment? No. It means I make a choice not to wallow in my sorrow and not to allow disappointments to prevent me from experiencing my destiny. I cannot be pitiful and affect change in the world. I cannot be pitiful and inspire young people to run after their dreams. I cannot be pitiful and share my story with the intent to encourage others. Today, and every day, I choose to be powerful! What choice will you make?

Book Asiah as a speaker for your next event! Visit us at http://www.asiahunlimited.com for more information and to purchase products. Check out Asiah's books, Teen Motivation 101: Ten Secrets of High School Success and Unlimit Yourself.

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Find Your Purpose In Life With The Help Of Self-Improvement Programs

How would a person know if he has found a real purpose in life? Is he truly happy with his life right now? There will come a time when a person starts asking himself these kinds of questions. Not knowing what one is meant to do, makes a person feel less fulfilled. But how do you find your purpose in life? Do you seek for it yourself or does it present itself naturally?

To help you recognize your real purpose in life, here are some tips you can consider:

1. Find meaning in life by thinking about things you truly value and make them your priorities. Direct your attention towards something good. Do something that hopefully can change your life for the better or change the life of another person. Do one good deed at a time and you will truly appreciate why doing it gives you fulfillment. Once you see that you do something of great value, your purpose can become clearer.

2. Learn from your choices and life experiences. Your failure and success in life say a lot about what your true purpose in life is. Your own experiences can tell you if you are on the right track. You can ask yourself questions and analyze your answers. What are the things you regret doing? What are the things you still want to do in life? Your answers will lead you closer to your life's real purpose.

3. Do what you want with dedication and determination. Once you decide on what your true mission in life is, make sure that you do it with love and realize your dream.

4. Focus on what you want to do. Think about things you can do for the world and not about what it can do for you. Do self-reflection because it helps you unlock interests, skills and values that you have but did not notice before. Listen to your internal voice and let it show you your life's true purpose.

5. Sign up with self-improvement programs. These programs will help you realize your goals in life and prepare you physically and emotionally. They will help boost your morale and self confidence.

If you are lucky enough to discover your real purpose in life early on, fulfill it with love and dedication. Otherwise, it is never too late to know your purpose in life and never too late to become what to want be. Attend self-improvement classes and find meaning in what you do.

To find out more about effective self-improvement programs, visit http://www.bestofyoutoday.com/about-us

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The Top 5 Self-Help Gurus of All Time - Motivational Speakers Who Changed the World and Our Lives

There's little that self-help guru Napoleon Hill doesn't promise us. If we can conceive it, he was famous for saying, we can achieve it. And if anyone's a poster child for achieving incredible success, Hill himself is. Arguably, he's the sole founder of the entire modern self-help industry - a staggeringly powerful $10 billion industry that's growing by more than 10% a year according to Marketdata Enterprises.

In honor of Hill and his predecessors, I've put together a list of the Top 5 Self-Help gurus of all time. Miners of soul - people who have changed not only the outer world, but our more personal, inner landscapes as well. When we need it most, it seems, we hear their voices in our heads, urging us to work a little bit harder for our goals.

1)Napoleon Hill.

Napoleon Hill was an impoverished newspaper reporter when he was assigned to write a story on one of the most famous men in America: Andrew Carnegie. During his interview with the steel magnate, Hill learned that Carnegie had a very interesting philosophy. Namely, that success wasn't a matter of luck, breeding or family ties, but rather that it was a formulaic process that anyone could learn. Carnegie then offered to provide Hill with a letter of recommendation if he would attempt to interview 500 other successful people to figure out precisely what the formula was. Hill agreed. Hundreds of interviews and 20 years later, Hill would publish his first book in the form of a study guide called "The Law of Success."

Nearly 10 years after that, Hill would tinker with and perfect his ideas in a new book called, "Think and Grow Rich!" Published in the midst of the Great Depression, it would prove an instant bestseller, and it's still regularly reprinted - testament to its power to inspire and motivate. In it, Hill lays the foundation for almost all modern-day books one finds in the self-help aisle at their local bookstores. He does it with 17 principles of success. The first of these, he says, is a "definiteness of purpose." "If you will decide definitely what you want most in your entire lifetime, and write it down on paper so that I can read it, I will give you the master key with which you may open the door to the attainment of your desires, whatever they may be," he says.

2)Dale Carnegie.

Born a poor farming family in Missouri, Dale Carnegie would eventually become one of the most famous authors in self-help history. Unlike Napoleon Hill who was given a mandate to lean about success, Carnegie almost inadvertently stumbling into motivational speaking. Strapped for cash in New York City, he thought he might be able to make some money teaching a course on public speaking. He secured a classroom at a local YMCA, found several students, and then, promptly ran out of material with which to teach them. Floundering in front of the class, he thought he'd best give the students something to talk about. So, he asked them each to give a speech on something that made them angry. The results were astounding. The students took on new, more powerful personas, speaking in front of a group without fear and without self-consciousness.

It was enough for Carnegie to realize that there had to be very specific techniques (not just luck or natural-born skills) that people could use to change their fears, attain their desires and get what they wanted out of life. In 1937, Carnegie published his most famous book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." The advice he offers reads like a manual for success in almost any endeavor that involves other people, from management jobs to family and friendships. One of his most famous pieces of advice? Get others to talk about themselves if you want them to like you. "I" is, after all, the most common word in almost any conversation.

3)Tony Robbins.

Tony Robbins first started generating attention in one of the least likely places a self-help guru might be born: infomercials. Promoting seminars for public speaker Jim Rohn, Robbins eventually carved out enough credence for his own series of seminars. How exactly is that possibly? By the sheer force and infectiousness of his personality.

His seminars, with names like "Date with Destiny" and "Unleash the Power Within," drum up the sort of excitement usually reserved for rock concerts. The seminars focus, too, on immediate action - the No. 1 hurdle to accomplishment, Robbins argues. To illustrate the power of action, Robbins designed his "Unleash the Power Within" seminar around the "firewalk," a ritualistic march that his seminar-goers take over a bed of hot coals. The purpose? To prove that we can accomplish things most people never try simply by taking action.

Robbins has also written some heavyweight books to back his ideas - of which the two most famous are "Awaken the Giant Within" and "Unlimited Power." Both ended up on bestseller lists and both focus on similar things: 1) keeping our energy and excitement levels high so that we can accomplish difficult tasks, and 2) changing not only our thoughts, but our "neurological" links with negative thoughts and habits. Once we've done that, we're free to reach our full potentials.

4)Deepak Chopra.

Dubbed the "poet-prophet of alternative medicine" by Time Magazine, Deepak Chopra has written more than 50 self-help books -- a staggering sum for any author in any field. He's, perhaps most famous, though, for his arguments on the power of the mind-body connection. Without a healthy body, he says, our minds can't function optimally. In fact, he even argues that our minds have the power to heal or harm themselves on a quantum level.

Trained as a medical doctor, Chopra's also well-versed in alternative Eastern medicine and thought, including Ayrveda ("the science of life") and Vedanta (a philosophical system rooted in the Upanishads). The goal of Vendanta is to free oneself from his or her own self-imposed limitations. In that sense, we're our own worst enemies. And that is, indeed, one of Chopra's central teachings: we must align ourselves with principles deeper than day-to-day trifles. When we're unaffected by inconveniences, we reserve energy for life's more important things.

5)Stephen Covey.

If you haven't heard of Stephen Covey's self-help books, you've probably seen his Franklin-Covey products at your local Office Max. Day planners and schedule books, Covey sells products to increase your effectively - the same thing he argues for in his books. The author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," Stephen Covey's self-help book was an international phenomenon that continues to sell copies to this day (more than 15 million copies in all). In "7 Habits," Covey argues that effectiveness isn't a skill, it's simply a habit or a decision to take serious, dedicated action.

A Harvard MBA student, Covey spent decades teaching organizational behavior and business management at Brigham Young University. Drawing on that experience, he produced a book that crystallizes effective action. The seven habits he laid out have become blueprints for modern-day managers. Among the most powerful? Seek first to understand, then to be understood. After it's all said and done, Covey writes, you've got to take a break and renew yourself.

Frederick Mason is a professional freelance writer. He's the lead writer at http://www.tradingstocks.me.

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Concept And Realities In Communication

Life's meaningful existence revolves around communication. The sway and surge from birth until death go through many phases. Therefore, it requires application of mind to understand its core concept. In this process, the basic approach focuses on perception. It represents organization, identification, and interpretation of sensory information. It will help an individual to signify and understand the environment. Thereby, it narrows down to behavioral conduct of the mind and body. Therefore, its performance is differentiated or integrated between the values of perception and reality.

The following questions arise within the context of existence.

(a) Can it perform in corroboration with mind and body and acts interdependent or independently?

(b) Can it also act like in tandem, thereby balancing between the two opposite?

(c) What it means and how it acts and reacts?

These are the cardinal points of contention, which need clarity and comprehension. It is, now necessary to evaluate and understand its basic level.

It is an established fact that perception affects mind and body in every state of being. It means conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious states are affected interdependent and independently. The personality of human being comprises of multifaceted behavior pattern of life, thus changes become obvious and visible. These changes can be trivial, complex or grave. Therefore, these changes are directly proportional to environments focusing on interpretation of sensory nerves. There are certain exceptions, which require identifications to understand how these perceptions can deviate from core concept?

The important aspect of perception in any organization is the communication. It unequivocally overshadows power politics, organizational behavior and empowerment over the work force. In order to achieve quality wise dramatic results, we require effective and efficient communication. The precision, clarity and convincing communication can leave imprints on the mind of masses. It is, therefore, necessary to know the reality of life and how these perceptions matters.

It is said that reality is a state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or imagined. It is important to know whether existence of reality is independent, observable or comprehensible. It is also interesting to know that in colloquial usage, reality means perceptions, belief and attitude towards reality. We have to be very careful in deducing values of communication with respect to perception and reality.

Here, I mention peripheral views of philosophy of reality. It is the reality by itself and relationship between the mind and reality. At the outset, it indicates the factuality of reality in any aspect. Therefore, we must understand what is the need of the hour in order to achieve such results, which are beneficial to society?

The reality of communication in our society is very important whether in home or anywhere else. The common factor in communication, either in perception or reality, is the belief. Therefore, belief in self and in others will pave the way towards mutual respect and dignity. It eventually establishes authority within and outside the domain of any organization. The core concept and values of human beings are outstanding provided a belief is based on factuality. Belittling the values of individual due to poor communication will be disastrous.

The basic and fundamental aspect of communication, whether in perception or reality, should be simple and convincing. This can only be achieved if our aims and objectives are within the ambit of human values. There are equally opposite factors displaying effective and convincing communications, yet these will be short-lived and deceptive. The tragedy of human beings is such that they get carried away by the mirage of deception, ignoring harsh realities. When the euphoria of deception fades aside into oblivion then realities reflect factuality, and repentance overshadows their mind and body.

An important, fundamental and cardinal point of issue is the truth behind any communication. All factors associated directly or indirectly with communication should be based on truth and nothing but the truth. Any deviation is not only short-lived but also disastrous. It could be exposed immediately or later. However, the truth will always prevail upon all odds and leaves its imprints on the minds of people. The history will bear witness to such perception and realities.

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Forgiveness - The Way to Start Over

Unforgiveness is the number one reason many people are struggling to get ahead at life, because it is directly linked to your emotions which account for most of the decisions we make.

I was talking to my friend and life coach, Ms. Virginia Chepete, who has a radio show and also has a Facebook Page where she motivates people daily to live out a purposeful life. I was discussing a few issues with her that I felt were keeping me from progressing and she pointed out that there is a lot of forgiving I need to do - not just other people but myself too. At first I thought, "No I cannot possibly forgive that easily - well, I can pretend to but I know deep inside I won't." However, as we our conversation unfolded I really began to understand what she really meant.

Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person. You need to forgive and accept what has happened - and you do not have to be in the perpetrator's company for you to have felt that you have truly forgiven someone. All you are doing for yourself is letting go of the bitterness and anger which steal your joy, peace and even laughter. Have you noticed that when you have not forgiven someone you become mentally tired and your energy is drained because you keep replaying the incident over and over? Isn't it about time you let go and just enjoy your life?

I could go into detail about the effects of unforgiveness but I do not want to - I want to give you a suggestion of how you can begin to work though it. This was suggested by Virginia Chepete, and I think it is a brilliant way to start your personal journey of unforgiveness.

Write letters to all the people who have hurt you and tell them how you feel and whatever else comes from your heart no matter what it is, sign it and then burn it up. Make a decision after you burn it to let go. It will remove a whole burden from your life. Do the same with people whom you have hurt and watch how you will feel.

Wishing you love and happiness, joy, light and love. It is now up to you to see how you will achieve that. Go out and forgive for your own good and wellbeing.

Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person. You need to forgive and accept what has happened - and you do not have to be in the perpetrator's company for you to have felt that you have truly forgiven someone.

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Stop Criticizing Yourself

Has someone ever caused you emotional pain with careless, mean or sarcastic remarks? What follows are some practical ideas to avoid that sort of pain in the future, and to also make sure that someone is not your own self.

Criticism can be a positive force at times. We must be able to handle it if we are to learn new skills. Without some form of feedback it would be hard to improve our performance or behavior.

But criticism also has the potential to inflict pain. It can cut very deep and even stay with us for our lifetime. Depending on how well you handle it, criticism has the potential to put serious limits on your life, or to take you forward into higher levels of personal performance.

The secret is how you handle the criticism you receive. The best response to criticism is to separate the facts from the opinions of others. A fact is something that is somehow provable and can be shown to be true. An opinion is an idea, or someone's personal interpretation of something.

Take your dog, for example. If you were to think, that's a beautiful dog, it would be an opinion. The underlying fact it that it is a dog. Your neighbor might think your dog is ordinary looking or even ugly. One thought - it is a dog - is an objective fact. The other thought - it is a beautiful dog - is a subjective opinion.

There are periods in our lives when other peoples' opinions of us seem more important than our own opinion. This especially occurs during our sensitive teenage years. When we are beginning to take our place as a young man or woman, the opinions of our peer's often have a huge impact.

Actually that is a natural part of becoming socialized. But we need to correct this as we become adults. Sooner or later we have to make a serious decision to have our own opinion of ourselves be the most important opinion.

A good skill to develop is the ability to choose your frame of reference. A frame of reference is the criteria by which we judge something to determine if it is valid.

There are two possible frames of reference: internal and external. Suppose you have completed a task at work. How do you know you have done it well? Does your direct supervisor tell you have done a great job, or do you just know without anyone saying so? The first frame of reference is external, and the second is internal.

Actually neither frame of reference is better than the other, and both have their own importance. When learning something new, having an external frame of reference may be useful. It can otherwise be difficult to reach beyond what we already know.

An internal frame of reference, on the other hand, has you deciding what is good, bad, or otherwise. If you use a personal feeling to judge yourself, you are using an internal frame of reference.

Deal positively with opinions. When you are thinking about yourself and how you are regarded, it is beneficial to create some solid, positive internal frames of reference.

People with strong self-esteem operate from a positive internal frame of reference regarding their personal worth. People with less self-esteem operate from an external frame of reference, and are more likely to accept other people's opinions of them. This is does not lead to a positive life experience.

Correct your own negative self talk by focusing on what you what you do well. Be a little kinder and forgiving of yourself, and stop re-creating past painful judgments by bringing them into the present moment. The interesting to note is that this actually creates positive changes in your brain.

The author of this article has written several books that can get you started. Go take a look, and download a free audio by the author while you're there =>> CLICK HERE FOR A FREE MP3

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